13 things I learned in January

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  1. There is no short, simple way to tell people where I’ve been for the past year. I tried taking pictures of my hundreds of bullet journal pages, and I tried doing a spoken-word thing. The journal pages took longer than an afternoon, and my handwriting is awful. The spoken word thing got sad, and I’m not sad, except about the fact that I don’t have a decent microphone anymore.
  2. There’s never a right time to get back into writing. Actually, time is never right. Time is always wrong. Time is the enemy. It’s literally killing you. Time doesn’t give a fuck, why are we trying to find a nicer version of it?
  3. Rain is good for my soul, and bad for my laundry.
  4. “Cheating discipline doesn’t work. To express a melody as it comes from your heart is an experience you have to earn. The universe isn’t giving that away for anything but your personal effort. As you work at the process of learning music, you spend time alone with yourself, and the energy of music. It’s a very honorable relationship.” – Thomas M Sterner, The Practicing Mind.
  5. I’ve been working so hard at making something valuable (I started my own business last year) that I’ve forgotten to practise accepting too. Accepting value, reward, payment, generosity, gifts, joy. All these things take practice, and I’m rusty.
  6. To achieve your goal, you must release it.” – Thomas M Sterner. This handful of words made me realise I haven’t actually relaxed since I was a kid. Once people began to rely on me, expect things of me, I started clenching my jaw and gripping my goals til my knuckles went white.
  7. I can survive without caffeine.
  8. Treating my business like someone else’s business has wildly boosted my productivity. Cognitive dissonance can come in handy.
  9. I must plan for my shittiest self. Hope is nice, but it’s not allowed in my planning process anymore. Setting crazy goals gives me a temporary pre-victory high, but it’s not worth the constant hellish dread of feeling behind.
  10. I should really read people’s briefs all the way through before quoting them on work.
  11. Every experience is relevant. Hard work is never wasted, and I don’t have enough information about the future to pessimistically think that a past job, hobby, or relationship was completely without value, even if it fails.
  12. Every time I make a decision about what I’m worth, immediately someone will come out of the woodwork and test if I’m serious, offering just a fraction less than my walk-away number. “New level, new devil” is a real thing.
  13. Yoga isn’t boring when you’re there for it.
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